Can You Hear Me Calling?

It also hurts because he is in every memory that is very important to me.

•  My first Valentine
•  My Prom
•  My Stars
•  My Graduation
•  When My dog passed away
•  Turning 18
•  My godbrother

All these memories that i cannot avoid because they are important to me! And they’re not cus of him..

The one that hurts to most is the passing of my dog… the one memory that I go back to all the time….and he pops up. I can’t only be upset about the passing of my dog but i always have to think of him in the moment reminiscing. The way he rushed over without even telling anybody… he didn’t care about anything else at the moment.. he only want to reach me and hold me while i cried my eyes out.

It just makes this ‘moving on’ process so much harder…

I wish it could be easy for me the way it has been for him. I envy his happiness.. i wish i could be as happy.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m content with my life and I’m beyond happy and proud that he is where he is in life, that he found a great girl to be with and not just some slut, and that he is so blessed. I just hate being raped by nostalgia all the time. It’s what holds be back in the pass and i can’t seem to move on. I hate being the one still hung up on that relationship while he probably barely thinks about it (not that i mind that he doesn’t).

It really just hurts… with any memory.

•  ”A part of us stays wherever we have been”

(Source: herloudthoughts)